I have some writing that I want you to read %26amp; tell me if it's good to post as a blog entry?
Also, my ex might read it...
Both the wrighting is about him...
What do you think he'll think about it?
Should I post it?
here's the first one...
Love鈥?br> I used to believe in fairy tale love.
I used to believe I was the only person they would ever want.
I used to believe I was "the one"
People, word of advice "DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU SEE %26amp; HEAR"
I was blinded, I really was.
The love I felt, was nothing more then an illusion in my mind.
Sometimes I think is love even real?
Apart of me believe it's not real, that it's just a chemical in your mind that last for awhile then soon fades as time passes.
Or you'll create an illusion in your mind, you tell yourself you love this person then with in a year or two somewhere in between the love fades then it's time to move on to another person to create another illusion?
Another part believes that it is real.
You feel it in your heart, but one or the other will always feel it a bit more鈥?amp; the one who feels it more gets broken when the one who loves them less ***** them over...then the one who loved them more is torn far greater then the other.
Then I think, it's real because you simply "feel it" %26amp; that's why it's real.
It's there for awhile, but time kills the love鈥eople change, people grow apart, along with the love that was once there grew apart as well.
I have many thoughts鈥 honestly don't know anymore what my definition is.
I think back on the one I once believed I would be with for the rest of my life鈥?br> %26amp;..I'm not going to deny it鈥 do miss the "good times" I do feel the heartache of once feeling someone's soul, %26amp; feeling whole.
But then I think of all the **** he ever did to me.
Especially thinking back when I finally found out his "true colors"
Makes it so much easier to forget about him, I believe I deserved a thousand times better.
I gave him my all through out all the months I was with him, somewhere in between there his "love" faded for me.
I know that now, I understand that I did make certain mistakes but that still does not give him the right to betray me.
It kills me inside鈥t really does, but it happened鈥?br> The past is the past; it's time to leave it as just that.
Only time will tell right?
Now, I am with a ******* amazing guy!
He's smart, fun, %26amp; gorgeous.
I'm already feeling the love with him.
He's more at my level, %26amp; he actually KNOWS how to treat a lady.
He even calls me "baby" =]
He gave me a sweet tart candy and said here's a "sweet tart for my sweet heart"
Awww, puts a smile on my face every time I think back on him saying it.
I love how he actually talks to me, %26amp; he can understand me just by looking at me.
He gives me kisses when he first sees me.
He walks me to my door %26amp; says "I'm not letting anyone take you from me"
When I lay on his chest I feel whole with him.
He rubs my head with such a soft touch, which makes me feel so loved.
When where driving he puts his hand on my leg, looks at me %26amp; smiles.
When we kiss it's like time stops %26amp; all I can feel is him %26amp; his compassionate kisses.
A clip of a sex scene popped up once in a movie %26amp; he covered up both of our eyes. Lol
When he sees me down, he simply tells me "cheer up baby" %26amp; it's like whatever was making me down fades completely.
Wow, I'm already falling for him.
So many memories in just a month %26amp; a half, all of these things are what show me that there is something very good happening with him %26amp; I %26amp; I can't wait to see what it is. You know what I do know my definition now鈥ove is real, it's just you have to find that one person鈥hat one person who truly loves you %26amp; you truly love them back鈥ot only for awhile, but for a life time. Who knows? Shane might be my certain someone? :)鈾?br>
Shane, he is my world.
Stephen, you're a fake asshole!
Period,
I love my life =]
Alone, in a room full of lies,
Dead inside, thinking nothing more then the one I love.
Grieving over what he had done.
Shot after shot, the more it blocked the pain held with in me.
I no longer felt good enough鈥?br>
Nothing more then a young self-conscious teenage soul,
I wasn't always like that, I once felt beautiful.
I once felt like I had a purpose.
I gave him my all, every inch of me.
He betrayed me鈥?br>
All for what, for what
That night,
The night my entire life changed鈥?br>
The night I ****** up my life.
Was maybe鈥erhaps the best night of my life?
There I lay, knowing what was coming, what was going to happen.
I lay there in shame鈥?br>
He moved closer.
I felt comfortable, I felt love, I felt鈥?br>
He touches my belly, he asks is this ok?
As intoxicated as I was it felt fine?
I kept telling him "no, no, no"
He kept trying, the feeling of his presents made me feel so鈥ulfilled.
It felt so right, yet so wrong.
He's lips slowly caressed mine.
I brush away.
He tries again, I finally let go.
My lips touched his, %26amp; in that moment that one kiss made me feel whole.
Here's the trick I try to deny鈥?br>
As I was kissing him I thought of my certain someone.
When I close my eyes I can still imagine the night.
Seeing my certain someone in my mind, yearning for his love that I no longer felt鈥?br>
Because he had throne it away鈥?br>
He killed it鈥?br>
All for what, for what,
Till this day it kills me inside, because I know what's right but chose the wrong because I know there is no way of going back in time鈥t's far too late to make things right鈥?br>
Now, here I am鈥?br>
Teary eyed鈥?br>
Feeling hollow inside鈥?br>
Missing the past, hating my presents鈥?br>
Now, I raise my head up high.
Suck up the tears, %26amp; move on.
Go on living my day as if everything's okay.
Whatever right?
Life goes on鈥?br>
It's just going to take sometime to forget about the past.
Right,
Yes, that's right.
Life鈥?br>
Why鈥?br>Should I post this on myspace???
sure........go ahead
Should I post this on myspace???
sex it up a little bit. Also shorten it . .
Should I post this on myspace???
post ur pics
Should I post this on myspace???
yea,i dont think anyone
will read more than a pargraph
once they've seen
how long it is but sure
go for it
Should I post this on myspace???
If your looking to stir sh** with your ex sure post it, but I would let it go and enjoy what you have now
Should I post this on myspace???
Post it, it's your blog.
Should I post this on myspace???
um its kinda long sorry.
but im sure its great.
Should I post this on myspace???
I couldn't even get through reading it here, I doubt anyone's gonna read it on Myspace either, so no matter.
Should I post this on myspace???
Why not post it just incase and ask your friends?
Should I post this on myspace???
A little lengthy don't you think? Maybe you should keep it short, sweet, and to the point.
Should I post this on myspace???
Holy smokes this is long it lost my attention about half way through it post it if u want but like I said before it sure is long
Should I post this on myspace???
This is how u r feeling ..."right",.....get it off your chest! go ahead"vent"
Should I post this on myspace???
Hey if you have a emo setting- Go for it.
Should I post this on myspace???
Post it. My space is yours, and you can put what ever you want on.
Should I post this on myspace???
yeah its good...go ahead
Should I post this on myspace???
Yea, I think it is so sweet
I LOVE YOUR NAME!!
XO
Should I post this on myspace???
i think you should put what you like best on your myspace without putting too much and making it look overdone
Should I post this on myspace???
i think it's very heart felt. and i can see that you spent a lot of time writing it. you should post it. let your ex know how you felt. you were the one who had to go through all that pain and suffering. and maybe just maybe he'll actually apologize for being an asshole towards you. no one should have to go through what you did. so go ahead and post it. i think it's awesome!
Should I post this on myspace???
OMG!! i cant beleive people are telling you to post it. DONT POST IT!!! sorry, but sounds desperate and pethtic. a little humility goes a long way. the whole world does not need to know about you bf issues. keep it private.
Should I post this on myspace???
it seems like you're learning. whenever we go through a painful period and can learn from it we grow. publishing it may help others to avoid what you went through.
and yes, go on living. one day you'll realize you're over it!
you're heading the right direction!
Should I post this on myspace???
You have quite the amount of Euphisisms in that poem, it goes from poem to rant.
I think its cool that you are able to write and share what is on your mind, but only for your own sake shorten up your points a hair.
for example:
You feel it in your heart, but one or the other will always feel it a bit more鈥?amp; the one who feels it more gets broken when the one who loves them less ***** them over...then the one who loved them more is torn far greater then the other.
Shorten to : This dude is a tool, but the other dude is cool!
Its an example, your poem leaves a feeling of telling people where you want to be, but when you describe the negative it really seems to annoy you to a point where it is exciting.
Well written though, another way to say it, since he bought you candy...
THIS GUY SUCKS,..... the better one has BUCKS!
Good Luck
Should I post this on myspace???
aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
yes
some of us know it so well
I no longer am a teen
but I too am still learning
one must love the self first
and it is so hard in the face of all the ungraspable
with need so heavily panting at the door
like a reflection of all that I so greatly desire
and it is more than just my body that wants with such a powerful deep need
maybe this time
maybe this time
and again maybe this time
what I so deeply need and want
shall come and lay itself down at my feet
and save me from myself
for it is my own self
which overlays on the image that is at my door
my own image by which I perceive
thus creating the very demon
that tortures the one I use for me
and yet it is only when need is finally gone
that love can even find our doors
**************
If you do post it
may you be one of those that find yourself
and look back upon that post to know how much you changed
Should I post this on myspace???
you know when i first started reading, i was all, "h3ll yea she should post it!!" but now i see why its so hard. i still think that you should post it but maybe tweaked a little? like at the end of the first one leave stephen out of it b/c then it might seem like you aren't writing all those nice things about shane for shane, but instead to make the @$$h0l3 jealous. or you could put "stephen, im so glad you were an @$$, because theni woulda never found shane," or "thanks for breaking me and making me lose myself, cuz if that hadnt happened, shane woulda never been able to help me find myself and put me back together again [much better off now] i love you shane:]" or something like that.
and for the second one, maybe make it really REALLY REALLY clear at the end that you are completely over him, or at least the you have definately moved on. i know you are hurting, but if shanes such a good guy, then does he really deserve like he's just a replacement? or someone who is supposed to make you forget? not really. just make it real clear that he is all that matters to you- him.
i hope that you an shane are really happy together, and i hope he never forgets how to treat you. you deserve much better than stephen. but if you ever feel like you are just replacing him for the jerk, let him go b/c no one deserves that.
good luck hunn, i really hope this helps[:
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